Hello, my friends,

Recent events have caused me to not be able to stop thinking about the similar themes I feel like I keep seeing in how people define masculinity and leadership in our world today, especially from many who claim to be Christian. So today, I want to think with you about those things and how they contrast with the person of Jesus.

Here are some resources to consider:

​-Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation By Kristin Kobes Du Mez You have probably heard of and have even read this book already, but I would be wrong not to include it in this newsletter today as it is one of the most compelling books I have read that so accurately describes the history of masculinity when it comes to Evangelical Christianity's engagement with society and politics.

​-Non-Toxic Masculinity Recovering Healthy Male Sexuality by Zachary Wagner This is a great book to consider, especially if you grew up in purity culture as I did.

​-How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them By Jason Stanley This title may sound daunting, but it is such a short and quick read. Stanley offers one of the clearest and helpful descriptions of how fascism works in our world and he articulates well how aggressive masculinity is one of its central features.

​-Health Insurance in America by Throughline. This episode is really helpful in understanding the history of have we arrived at the current way health insurance is both understood and handled in our country. It gave me helpful tools to navigate all the conversations about it today. You'll be glad you listened.

Okay, onto today’s content.

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“Why Jesus wouldn’t be seen as a “real man” or a “Christian leader” today.”

During the height of the Covid pandemic, Rebecca and I went on a walk downtown just to get out of the house for a while. Many businesses were requiring masks to shop inside and we came with ours just in case we wanted to walk around in a store.

We happened to walk by West Elm and thought it would be fun to look at all the beautiful furniture we couldn’t afford, so we laughed to ourselves and went inside. The store had signs everywhere about requiring masks, so we gladly put on ours and went inside.

While we were there, the manager of the store came to greet us. She was so kind and genuine and immediately reminded me of my own mom. We were the only customers in the store, so we took our time talking about the furniture with her and then about how wonderful it was to be outside given how beautiful the weather had been lately.

As we were talking, a man and woman walked in together through the front door. The man was very tall, intimidating, and maskless. The manager turned and kindly said, “Sir, can I offer you a mask for your visit?”

The man flippantly said, “No, you can keep it.” The manager then kindly said, “Sir, it is store policy for everyone to wear masks while inside.”

At this, the man really got upset. He yelled across the store at her, “It doesn’t matter what your store policy is! I am a private citizen and the Boise mayor said just this morning that I don’t have to follow any rules that I don’t want to!”

Interestingly, I had actually just been on a Zoom call with the Boise Mayor that very morning along with a few other faith leaders going over recent Covid protocols for the city and she had said nothing like that at all but rather encouraged everyone to follow public health guidelines.

So in that moment, standing next to the manager, I piped up and said, “That simply isn’t true, sir. I spoke to the mayor this morning and she is encouraging us all to follow local public health guidelines.” Naturally, my heart began to race as his anger quickly turned towards me.

He then looked at me and yelled, “I spend more than $30,000 a year here! Are you really going to push this and lose such a valuable customer?!”

To which I said, “I don’t work here.”

At that point, the woman next to him was visibly embarrassed and asked him if they could leave. The man turned and stormed out as she followed behind him.

The manager turned to me and was crying. She said, “Thank you so much. That happens all the time but no one ever says anything. Even though I’m the manager here, people don’t seem to take me seriously let alone consider that I’m just trying to do my job in such a crazy time.”

I have thought about this interaction a lot since then. The man had so many choices about how to handle the moment. If he didn't want to wear a mask, he could have just not gone into a place that required them. If he really wanted to go in the store, he could have just worn a mask for the time he was there. He could have asked the woman he was with if she could go in the store for him as he waited outside. He could have just responded kindly to the manager's request and tried to come to an understanding with her about how to navigate the situation.

There seemed to have been so many other ways to handle that situation better, yet he chose to be rude and yell at another human being and just force his own way. It seems so emblematic of how so many have come to define politics, Christianity, and masculinity in our current time. They all seem to coalesce around a singular definition: dominion. With this being the central goal of these categories in our culture, bullying and arrogance become not only justifiable means to that end, but they become rebranded as “leadership” or “manhood” or even “righteousness.”

Loving others gets disregarded for the sake of dominating others.

Local To National

I don’t know how much Idaho news you have seen lately, but this theme has been on full display here.

We had a man go viral for doing a Nazi salute on stage at a company event. He was the CEO of that company. Never in my life did I anticipate this horrid, hateful salute be normalized like this.

We had a woman dragged out of a public town hall meeting. On the viral video of this event, you can not only hear the man from the platform mocking her, but as the sherif directed her removal, you see other men in plain clothes dragging her away while people (besides her friends) just stand there watching and some even cheering. Her “offense?” Speaking out of turn.

This all happened during wheb the Idaho legislature are moving bills forward that ranged from depriving more than 90,000 Idahoans of their healthcare, school choice tax vouchers that takes funding away from our already struggling public schools, requiring the Ten Commandments to be posted in all public schools, and requiring daily readings of at least 20 Bible verses in our public schools, exclusively from the KJV or the NKJV.

Behold the politics, Christianity, and masculinity of dominion.

Zoom out on the national scene this week and the picture looks far too similar.

The president referred to himself as king after recently saying he was above the law.

House Republicans propose a spending bill that could very well threaten Medicaid and food assistance for millions of Americans.

The president posted a disturbing video on his personal social media accounts that someone created through AI, which depicted Gaza being transformed into a resort city, complete with the president’s name on buildings, money falling from the sky, and a giant gold statue of him in the middle of town. This is of course reflective of his comments early February about taking Gaza over, leveling it, and building a resort.

The Tate brothers, who are facing human trafficking charges in Romania and who are known for their horridly violent and misogynistic content online, which has attracted millions of followers, arrived safely in the United States. This was after a group of Christian converts from Iran fleeing to America from religious persecution were promptly deported without due process. All while we still hear promises of making sure “violent criminals” don't enter our country and “we are going to fight for Christianity.”​

Recent data was also published that while approval rating for the president has lessened among many groups of Americans because of all that is happening, it has only grown among Gen Z men. The reasons listed in this article are heartbreaking. We really need better listening and better narratives of masculinity for young men.

Then to top all of this off, the entire world witnessed the president and vice president treat the Ukrainian president with flagrant arrogance, condescension, and disrespect while sitting in the Oval Office.​

Behold the politics, Christianity, and masculinity of dominion.

How Would Jesus Be Treated Today?

I just can’t help but think how Jesus would be treated if his earthly ministry were taking place in America today.

How he would be treated for weeping publicly and showing compassion for others.

How he would be treated for taking the role of a servant and washing people’s dirty feet.​

How he would be treated for riding a donkey into the city instead of a warhorse.

How he would be treated for telling his followers to put their swords away and love their enemies.​

How he would be treated for his ministry being funded and supported by wealthy independent women who owned their own business.

How he would be treated for empowering women and treating them as his equal.

How he would be treated for preaching about bringing good news to the poor, wanting to bring healthcare to the sick, to liberate the oppressed, and forgive debts.

How he would be treated for overturning an entire weekend of good business, completely disregarding profit margins by driving out exploitative economic practices against the poor being carried out through God’s house of worship.

How he would be treated for preaching nonviolence and even being willing to die for his enemies out of love for them rather than kill them.

In our world today, I think Jesus would be treated much the same way he was treated during his earthly ministry.

Those who use their religion and politics as tools of oppression and for self serving power would see him as a “radical” politically. They would see him as “working for the devil” by how they defined their religion. They would mock him as a “weak man” and trade him in for a violent insurrectionist like Barabbas instead.

I just keep asking myself, if we are claiming to be Christian, then why on earth would we want to ascribe to a definition of politics, Christianity, or masculinity where Jesus wouldn’t even measure up as a “real man” or a “true leader?” Are we defining our current categories by Jesus or defining Jesus by our current categories?

I have spent my entire life in Christianity. During that time there hasn't been a season of my life where my sexuality and leadership hasn’t been questioned.

Growing up as an emotionally sensitive, empathetic boy, rumors were spread at my church that I was gay.

Those rumors followed me all the way through adulthood and into ministry. Being a single pastor leading a church also brought the added accusation that I couldn’t be a good leader of a church if wasn't married.

Has this treatment stopped now that I’m married to Rebecca and the father of two kids and our third on the way? Nope. I get messages and comments all the time all the time about how my marriage to a woman is a lie because I’m obviously not straight. I get people online calling me a soy boy, a cuck, and a beta male. Many others have said that I’m a weak pastor who only interprets scripture by my “feelings” rather than by God. All of these things are said to me by those claiming to follow Jesus.

In all my lifetime spent in and around conservative Christianity, I have learned that the bar of “masculinity” is always shifting and you just can never be “masculine” enough to please the ever shifting standards. I never fit the hard charging, aggressive, and emotionless definition of “manliness” by which I was constantly being measured and I was treated with disrespect and suspicion and made to believe I wasn’t a “real man” because of it.

I have come to the conclusion that it is because Jesus has always been my role model and Jesus just isn't who many Christians think of today when they picture a "real man" or a "Christian leader."

Now hear me, I'm not saying that I have been imitating Jesus perfectly and that's why I've been treated this way nor have I only been treated this way by fellow Christians. I have my own set of issues and insecurities I struggle to overcome to be the person I want to be in this world and there have been many Jesus followers in my life who have affirmed that in me as they seek to follow him faithfully too.

What I am saying is that this tension between following Jesus and these escalating categories of dominion in politics, Christianity, and masculinity have been a constant factor in my life.

In the hyper conservative imagination, empathy, compassion, and mercy are seen as exclusively “feminine” traits, which is also a constantly shifting bar by which women are measured. Femininity is often used derogatorily towards more sensitive men because of how masculinity is so rigidly defined as its opposite. When those lines are assumed to be blurred or crossed by this prevailing ideology, there is often social hell to pay. This not only fuels the deep animosity towards feminism and the LGBT community we often see, but also the deep ridicule towards straight men who are gentle, patient, and kind. I guess Paul was wrong to call those attributes “fruit of the Spirit.” I guess he should have known better and called them out as the “erosion of masculinity” they are.

Jesus Leads A Different Way

This is why I have constantly said that when you worship power, empathy, compassion, and mercy will begin to look like sins. They will begin to look like a compromise. They will look like weaknesses.

This is what has happened within the categories of politics, Christianity, and masculinity of our time. They have arrived at being different ways to describe the same thing: dominion. A dominion that requires the submission of others.

Instead of being seen as a way to work towards the common good of all people, politics is seen as a way to dominate your enemies and impose your particular brand of power.

Instead of being seen as a way to embody the way of Jesus, Christianity is seen as a way to dominate society and impose your particular brand of theology on our culture.

Instead of being seen as a healthy way to understand one’s self better, masculinity is seen as a way to dominate the definition of human sexuality and family models in our culture and impose your particular brand “alpha manhood.”

In this kind of context, it is no wonder we are seeing bullying being rebranded as “leadership,” empathy being demonized as a “sin,” and arrogance being rebranded as “manly.”

This is why Jesus would simply not be accepted as a “Christian leader” or a “real man” by many today. The civil religion of American Christianity will always have a savior for whom they vote and give their undivided allegiance, but it will never be Jesus. He’s too poor, too nonviolent, too inclusive, too self sacrificial, and puts the oppressed first too much. He leaves too much room to rely faithfully on the power of God rather than resorting to the power of coercion and that just makes him too risky of a savior to follow.

The way of Jesus just completely contradicts the way of dominion, as Paul so beautifully describes in Philippians 2:1-11:

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God.

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This is why we must follow the way of Jesus all the more. It is Jesus’ way of humility, tenderness, compassion, selflessness, and putting the needs of others above himself that God saw as being worthy of exalting, worthy of the highest name, and worthy of all the world to see and emulate through worship.

This way of Jesus is desperately needed in our world in such a deep and vital way right now.

This way of Jesus is what we must hold all those in positions of power accountable to.

This way of Jesus is what we must reclaim as the center of the Christian faith.

This way of Jesus is what we must offer as the truthful alternative to the destructive definitions of masculinity in our world.

This way of Jesus is how we not only keep love on full display for all the world to see, but it is the way we will overcome and turn the tide towards peace, mercy, and justices.

What I Am Doing

This last week, I gathered with some community leaders to encourage one another and think through ways of responding to local and national issues together. It was so inspiring and productive. If you are able to do this, even with a small group, I highly encourage you to do so. Maybe even make it a once a month thing.

I am working towards providing online resources for those who are looking to connect and grow together in their relationship with Jesus. I am working on relaunching my sermon podcast as well figuring out a YouTube channel. I am also collaborating with a few others to start small groups for people within their own communities. So more on all that and more to come.

I am also working with some local and national groups to combat Christian nationalism and the erosion of human dignity. These efforts look like conversations with local legislators, speaking at public forums, and encouraging involvement from everyone.

So, find out what you do best and then do that to the best you can with others. It is that simple. We are not alone. We all have something to offer. We are all in this together.

Let me end with a prayer I wrote for this season:

Creator God, we pray for these things that are so outside of our control yet so disturb and break our hearts. Would you grant us the wisdom to navigate these events in solidarity together as we move into such uncertain times. Would you allow our brothers and sisters around the world to know that the behavior seen on national display does not represent so many of us who call this country home. Would you remind us that we are not alone. Would you point us in the direction we need to go. Would you unite us together in the work of making true and lasting peace.

In the name of Jesus, who said “blessed are the peacemakers” we pray.

Amen.

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.