Hello my friends,

I'm excited to tell you that Rebecca and I welcomed our third child on August 19th at 2:27pm! We named him MacIntyre Banks. He and Rebecca are doing very well. Thank you so much for your prayers, encouragement, and support. I'm writing to you right now as a very happy and sleep deprived dad.

We chose the name MacIntyre after the Scottish-American philosopher Alasdair MacIntyre. His book “After Virtue” had a big impact on me and the fields of moral and political philosophy and beyond. He passed away May of this year. We also love how we can call him Mac.

His middle name is after Banks Idaho, which is part of a wilderness area here that is filled with wonderful memories for Rebecca and I, both growing up with our families and now together. His brother Foster (3) and sister Reese (1) were so overjoyed to meet him. Mac’s arrival just makes our family feel complete.

​​As I held my newborn son for the first time, his tiny chest rising and falling against mine, my love for him, for his brother, his sister, his mother, and this world we share felt overwhelming, almost unbearable in its depth. With each child I have been given, my desire has only grown stronger for a world where they can grow up seeing all people surrounded by a culture of love, not one suffocated by authoritarianism and fear.

We are living in a time when fear has become the currency of so much of our public life. Fear is wielded in politics, in parenting advice, in definitions of gender and masculinity, and even in how we talk about God. Fear is treated as the surest way to make people “do the right thing.” Threaten punishment, tighten control, enforce obedience, and people will comply and the culture war will be won.

But while fear may produce short-term obedience, it never produces long-term goodness. Scripture itself teaches us that “perfect love casts out fear, for fear has to do with punishment” (1 John 4:18). Fear is always self-destructive.

I think of it in parenting. When a child behaves only because they are terrified of being punished, they may outwardly comply, but inside they become resentful, afraid, and unfree. Their choices are not truly their own. When the watchful eye of authority is removed, they may rebel, or worse, live their entire lives unable to make choices on their own without fear or without the threat of external consequences. Fear cannot raise a whole human being. It can only shrink them. But when a child knows they are loved, their choices begin to flow not out of terror but out of joy and belonging. Goodness is the natural result of their lives because they know they belong. This is what the Apostle Paul describes when he writes that “it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance” (Romans 2:4).

I think of masculinity and how is often framed in terms of intimidation, dominance, and the fear of appearing weak. Young men are told to harden themselves, to never cry, to prove themselves through toughness or conquest. But this version of masculinity, rooted in fear, is brittle. It leaves many men unable to form genuine relationships, even with themselves. It leaves them unable to be vulnerable, unable to connect, and unable to love. It collapses under the weight of its own performance leaving many to seek purpose through wealth, power, and conquest. Jesus offered a different way when he said, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). True strength is not rooted in fear of weakness but in the freedom to be gentle, humble, and whole.

I think of how fear warps theology. Too often God is preached as an authoritarian ruler whose primary concern is obedience, whose love must be earned, and whose favor can be lost at any moment. People raised under this vision of God may behave, but out of anxiety, not love. They serve because they are terrified not to. But such faith is shallow and fragile, always suspicious of others, always policing thought and speech to maintain order. Yet the gospel insists that “God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Love is the beginning, not fear.

And of course, politics. We see leaders and movements insisting that to “do the right thing” means little more than “do what I say” or “follow MY law.” But when “right” is defined only by proximity to power, then morality itself becomes warped. Laws that silence dissent or restrict human dignity are still called “right" and compliance is confused with virtue. In such cultures, no one can be trusted unless they are constantly watched and controlled. Hence the surveillance, the suspicion, the endless policing of behavior and thought in authoritarianism. Fear requires control, and control can never trust. But love, as Paul reminds us, “does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Love does not coerce.

Love creates a culture of trust because it changes people from the inside out. Loved people love people. When we know God loves us, we are free to love God and others not out of compulsion but out of joy. And when politics, parenting, and community are shaped by love of neighbor rather than fear and control, we can trust that the “right thing” means the flourishing of all, not merely obedience to those in power.

This is why love is sustainable and genuine while fear is not. Fear eats itself alive, producing suspicion, division, and cycles of control. But love generates more love. Love flows outward. Love multiplies. Love sustains communities across generations because it is not grounded in intimidation but in belonging.

This is the world I want for my children, your children, all children, all people. Human beings deserve a world where trust is possible, where doing the right thing flows not from fear of punishment but from the deep joy of being loved and belonging.

So I urge us all. Continue to resist the culture of fear with an unrelenting love. Refuse to feed it. Instead, continue building communities of love. Show your children, your neighbors, your coworkers, your congregations what it means to live freely, generously, joyfully, not because we are afraid of what will happen if we do not, but because we know we are loved. And loved people love people.

Mac, I’m so thankful you’re here. You’re mom, sister, brother, and I love you so much. I can’t wait to learn more about who you are and our story together every single day. I love you, buddy.

“I can only answer the question ‘What am I to do?’ if I can answer the prior question ‘Of what story or stories do I find myself a part?" -Alasdair MacIntyre

May our story be love.

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